i feel guilty for kissing another guy

And now you - who finds trust difficult - have been tempted to do your OWN test (already commencedwhilst drunk), approached via the psychological end. A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. Ill bet you got drunk on purpose because you wanted to kiss him/her.. Plus, I *was* moreover affronted, meaning the guy got off lightly, because [1] I hadn't even caught his eye, [2] my wedding band is very thick thus too noticeable even from a distance, meaning his chat-up attempt was both un-instigated and unwanted, so [3] what sort of person did he think I WAS, just from looking at me?! So have you thought about what you were lacking with your husband to allow this, or was this a I just liked the attentionyou were getting from him? And, he did little favors for me. lover. I could list so many reasons why, but instead Ill just list a few. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do something like that again. I kissed another man four years ago. He cared less what families they belonged to if they worked in the same positions, they had the same contract rules to follow. Good luck. I worry I made huge mistakes in my life and that I am destined to life a "good" family life forever more, but never feel that amazing desire and lust and sexual attraction I don't feel for anyone else but this man. Remind her of your good points. In fact, you dont even have to tell your partner what you did because it was an innocent kiss. I then suddenyly realised what I was doing and burst into tears, telling him I could not do this to my boyfriend and then called a taxi and left. Married and I kissed another manshould I tell him? - Page 2 Such as crying,begging that would be enough for me to give them a second chance. She had gone to bed. You even said it indirectly in your story, when said you decided to get drunk. You'll have to accept it, face up to it, and put it behind you. Then the accusations begin, which night go something like: Why on earth did you kiss _________? Tl;dr: why do I feel guilty after ending things with a guy who grabbed my ass during our first kiss? :-)), SOULMATE: Meant as in the universe of sisterhood (wrongly) To award Biggest B*lls on the Block Award -comment never was to imply same race- so on behalf of the Academy I accept :), (Good stuff. I was dumped.so why do *I* feel guilty? Your guilt is your punishment. Soulmate I guess as long as you stay at this site I'll find all of you. LGBTYouTube stars Bria Kam and Chrissy Chambers (BriaAndChrissy) have released a videoexploring what its like for straight guys to kiss other men for the first time. If you don't figure this out OP, it will happen again. By clicking 'Accept and continue' you consent to our use of cookies in accordance with your preferences which can be reviewed / updated at any time via our Privacy Policy. Hi Scope! And what Simone Bienne said on the love line. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! Here's what it's like for straight guys to kiss other guys - Metro The straight guys get into it, theres no doubt they even end up biting the LGBT guys. What? When you're in a long-term relationship, it's normal to have a little crush on someone other than your partner. My wife left me because I had become emotionally unavailable. I certainly took full responsibility for my actions, and fortunately the guy I kissed also took responsibility for his actions. To be honest, my stomach is sick with the thoughts of the whole thing. 2. But the guilt is killing me. He also sent me a mean text that said for me to go f myself and to stay away from him. Kissing is the gateway to sex or part of sex. reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): A Loyal Girl sorry to hear about your situation. For me infidelity is a deal breaker I don't care what the circumstances were. ;-). Why would you want to do that? BTW lips are also very much a part of foreplay that's what I've read. (PS: These 'recent issues' of yours. Your punishment is living with this. I feel sorry for those with depression, mental illness, hangnails, bad hair, bad childhood memories, etc. We kissed for maybe 5 minutes, or maybe less, I don't know. I'm not going to let that or any insulting aspersions, subtle or otherwise, put me off. I did for a second *start* to kiss him backbut only because I was so completely off my head at that point (I'm talking room starting to spin) as was he, actually, which is probably why it occurred- well, NEARLY occurred in the first place, so don't worry about that bit but the second I did, I came to my senses and told him NO WAY JOSE!!! It takes to heal the wounded trust again. I've noticed that other threads here haven't lasted very long. If I receive a text from someone that is flirtatious in anyway, I test the person back and tell them that I do not want anymore flirtatious texts and if we are friends then they need to respect my relationship. The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. Later, he tried to make out and I said no because I felt it was wrong.I told him I needed a uber. 3. Translation: Stuff moral taboos, my wanton self-gratification urge is more important than any implement for world peacebut I'm a nice guy, no, really I am.) Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. Hello, TheBestAdvice: Im glad you thought my post was intelligent and that you could relate to it. View related questions: And he kissed me and I reciprocated. That was crazy' and other awkward things. Sentiment accepted, though. We've been together a lot of today for various reasons, we've talked a little but as of right now, officially I'm still "thinking things over." Login first Y'know what it all boils down to the lips. Talk to her about it and explain to her how it hurt you to see them kissing. I remember saying 'no, no, this is bad' in the middle of it, and he said 'I know but I really like you and I have done for ages', and he kissed me again, but this time only for a second because I said ' I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person' then he kinda just stroked my arm and said 'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. I certainly wouldnt throw him under the bus -just yet. Okay. I kissed another girl while black out drunk, dont remember a thing. And he grabbed my waist!. As one young man said " time heals" and he's so right. We may share information about your use of our site with trusted advertising and analytics partners. It sounds simple, but if you think you know how to apologize effectively, you are likely wrong. LOL And for science-based tips for managing guilt, check out my book, Emotional First Aid. I cant trust you anymore., You think that having too much to drink made it all right for you to kiss ______? 5. Dont tell me that you and ______ (the girl who was staying at our house for the weekend) are lesbians? Unforeseeable consequence. The fact he told you very soon after is good. Foxie: There was something missing in my marriage. So, I reluctantly confessed to getting drunk and kissing my piano teacher. But you sounded like you were willing to take it farther with him,and risk it all. It's not the crime that counts, it's the time. Look at your first kiss after divorce as a new beginning, a new chapter. Either way, I've noted your comments, I've already decided what I am going to do, and I'll deal with the consequences, whatever they might be. You just never, ever know. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. As I left, the boy who I kissed came with me and I tried my best to shrug him off. Just my thoughts having been a victim of cheating. I noticed him kinda touching my hand a bit but I didn't pull away. I too stand by my post as well-doing what is right as it relates to this issue is hardly ever the path taken. She may mean it now, but maybe next week she wont, but you cannot rely on it..Is it a pattern of distrust? It's not worth the headaches, nausea, acid reflux, stomach pain, or insomnia you may be experiencing. If a man or woman were genuine in asking for forgiveness. Your Drinking Behaviour. - GET THE FUCK OUT. That's what it takes to have a Grade A romance that never dies. I cannot tell you how much I love my boyfriend and how shocked I am about this. However, if you kissed someone whom you liked or had a crush on while you were drunk, my opinion is that you cheated. I felt sick! Fear holds you back. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. I've gone to a couple thread's here recently. You can confess to your significant other and accept the consequences, knowing that you might hurt your partner by confessing. We have only been seeing each other for the past two months and I dont want his mind racing with bad thoughts. If you kissed a stranger while you were drunk, dont worry about it. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? However from what I've read passionate kissing lead to touching, petting,etc. However, the fact that you kissed another guy can act as a trigger for him to think negatively of you. Have a happy day every one. I'm going to regret what I've done for the rest of my life. I like him so so much and I know I was just being drunk and ****. I calmly told him that I wasnt in love with him, but I did feel some attraction and that I accepted the liquor and the kiss because I was curious to find out if there was anything between us. I know, I need to start a thread. Press J to jump to the feed. Of course there would have to be a lot of transparency in the marriage there after. :(. You confessed your sins. Updated January 27, 2023 by ReGain Editorial Team. drunk, kissing. Everyone is telling me not to say anything because it was so long ago and it never happened again, or will it ever. I spent the next day in bed all day crying and it has to be one of the saddest days of my life. I wish I told my wife, but she found out because in my browsing history I had searched should I tell my wife I kissed a girl when drunk. The short answer to your question, for this BPD is: No, I don't feel guilty. Can you tthan please explain this? If you. lover. Becoz misunderstanding happn somtym and do miracles/ And ya most imp if u both want kids u shud adopt one. :), Ah cawlled *you* 'sistah', dun't mean Ah iz wurn too, 'kayyy, shugah? in my opinion I don't see why you would feel guilty you did nothing . And note, you don't HAVE to take my advice. I myself will have to comment tomorrow, now, although maybe SK and anyone else would like to join in in the meantime? You already have internalized that part. It's where the lips have been and where they're going. Don't have an account? I believe that its a good thing to fess up when kissing someone you care about when you drank too much could threaten your existing relationship. (works every time :-p) (although, I'm not sure how this counts as a debate if you and I are in total agreement, lol). Funny, I have never gotten amorous when I have had too much to drink. It was important to hear the argument for doing what is right. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission, which supports our community. Would they be as lenient? I can't stop playing it over again and again. Scopes: Yes, the kids are the real victims. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. It was such a weird experience. He has assignments at different sites, and for the last four weeks he has been at the same place. At least I'll know I've done my bit to the very best of my capability. I was heart broken, and even though he said he immediately pulled away, and we stayed together and over time forgot about it, I remember feeling so uneasy every time I knew he would be in that girls company. Not just what I did but the fact I work with this person and have to continue to work with him. For what possible reason? I have no idea who the girl is. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. End of story. Hey all. Where were you hiding it - up your sleeve? Maybe you didnt deliberately set out to kiss him or her, but you feel guilty about the kiss because you realize you always wanted to kiss that person, but were afraid to kiss because you harbored hidden feelings for that person. Hubby had a similar experience when we were in our first year - with his ex. I didnt tell him. David bit Jordan. if you believe you have to tell him exactly as you did here , if your friends you were with are also his say he can ask them . I know he would forgive me but I don't want to deal with issue with him. I could go on about a lot of things here. 4. It was a real dress up affair, and the drink flowed freely all night long. Just, why leave yourself open if you don't have to. I'm really surprised that everyone is saying "It's just a kiss" and to not tell the SO. Later, I spoke to my fianc and he told me he loved me and was sorry. You were no exception. Nooooo, surely not. I was dating thus guy for 6 months and he stopped calling and texting. I myself have had issues in the past months but I won't elaborate. There is no earthly reason that your partner needs to know chapter and verse of every indiscretion you ever engaged in. 2. Be the adult here. I'm so confused. I had a kind of aha reaction because I realized I was attracted to him. I made that call today and will move from lates to early starting Monday 16th feb. Are you dreaming about another man? Here's what it really means What am I going to do? I'm dating this guy and have been for about 2 months. The way it happened-not so good! We are together 12 years altogether and although I had boyfriends before him, it was never serious, and he is the only man I've ever slept with. Even despite it included you having to become whatever degree of a low-down doity adulterer. Period. I have to be honest, I have never once had the urge to visit America. [1] you didn't foresee and avoid being in that predicament. I thought I had lost him and then bumped into him further down the street. Oh my god, (Brodie)bit my tongue! yells James. If you want a relationship then be ready to be trustworthy. Slaying suspect pleads guilty | News, Sports, Jobs - Altoona Mirror I sent the guy packing with a friendly piss-take (whilst deliberately flashing my ring), and then told hubbie the minute I got home. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Being drunk is never a "reason" for cheating. I want to break down and cry. It happened two days ago. Visit my website and follow me on Twitter @GuyWinch. Then the women who owns the house went upstairs and never came down. Once my tennis coach misread me, came into my house, and gave a peck on my cheeks, in India, kissing is not a social gesture. Personally, if nothing happened apart from him buying drinks and giving you a ride home, then I wouldnt have told at all. I know it was wrong and I regret it all. We were good friends for a few years and have dated in the past but nothing serious. After he gave me a drink we started kissing and I felt terrible.He then asked me to sleep with him. reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2006): A Nah Don't say a word about it. Any help or advise would be much appreciated. Try to channel the guilt into something good, into turning your back on temptation and having a good night out with your friends. The last person you should be talking to about your feelings of guilt is your partner. Having eyes for someone else while you're married is seen to be wildly inappropriate. Please help. Relationships are about trust, first and foremost. Shes Colombian and very fiery. JavaScript is disabled. Is Flirting Cheating? 5 Signs That It Is - Psych Central Wife of 8 years straddled and flirted with my friend last night while drunk My Girlfriend Kissed Another Guy whilst Black-Out Drunk. I have posted a vent and been waiting for your scathing reply. ;-p As for this one, I think it's safe to say it's run its course for now. A guy bought me drinks and he asked me if I wanted to ride his motorcycle to another bar and I did. For me i felt guilty for enjoying it so much. I'm asking myself all sorts of questions like did I like him, is that why I did it? Drop it in CASUALLY, as part of general chit-chat, like it's no big thing (because if it's no biggie to you then that must mean it isn't and wasn't any threat to him), and in such a way as draws similarities with his own past incident. No, you don't. If I ws on ur place I would never have told him because he loves me so much and respect me so much and really trust me like anything and if you are guilty and try to relieve ur guilt by telling him still doesn't prove to be beneficial for you and other than that it creates a doubt in his heart that would be very mych lowering The respect he has in his heart for you. A couple of nights ago I went out to a work function. See "The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology"; you probably miss at least two of them when you apologize. No, if it's sensible debate, based on *facts* rather than wishful thinking, that's fine. I'm married, but kissed another man - PeoplesProblems.org I am heartbroken but told him I understand that I couldnt be with someone who doesnt trust me. Once emotions kicks in, you cant predict what will happen. What would people say if she'd slept with someone else? What is he supposed to do with this information? Please help me. (y) If you both agreed not to see anyone else, how is that not exclusive? Anyway, I just thought I'd mention it out of respect for that other time with that girl and to show you that, despite I'm not as quick thinking as you, especially when I'm blotto, I can still handle myself in these situations [grin]." Actually I really don't have any experience at all. ;-)), Back too Ya My Sistah from another mother!! Lees theory has a big vulnerability. If, on the other hand, you kissed someone whom you knew or someone your significant other believes youve always liked, and then you confess that you kissed him or her, your actions could have major consequences for your relationship Why? Its hard to know what to say, especially if youre fuzzy about what happened. My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. I rather throw it all out in the openbe honestapologize for my mistakeand be ready for the consequences. Amazing how long this subject has carried on. Asked how the kiss was, Brodieeven says: It wasnt bad, its actually better than a few of my exes. I have to admire the guy for realizing that he was putting a marriage at risk, and backed away. I'd be obsessed with it. Married woman slaps sleazebag's face and leaves. So if for some reason he'd got funny about it, I'd have just dealt with it. That's alright, that's a common mistake. In Jung's theory, the anima makes up the totality of the unconscious feminine psychological qualities that a man possesses and the animus the masculine ones possessed by a woman. There's nothing wrong with feeling an attraction to another person when you're in a relationship. Sorry, you two, I'm not ignoring you, just super-super-busy at the mo. reader, Angel-lee+, writes (25 October 2005): A I knew you liked him/her. For the last few years we have been trying for a baby and are currently going through tests to try find out why it's not happening. This of course over a year ago. However most people don't have a commitment that SOULMATE has with her husband that they will be 100% Honest with each other NO MATTER WHAT! Should I ask him for gas money? Kissing After Divorce: Can You Handle It? - Divorced Girl Smiling By clicking 'Submit' or otherwise submitting this form you agree to the, By entering this site you declare Have another little thinkipoos (with or without a little drinkipoos). How is that beneficial to him? It really depends on the dynamics of your relationship though. Many people who get drunk become more amorous, and if our significant others arent with us at the time of our drinking binge, we might be inclined to kiss or even have sex with someone else because were not playing with a full deck when were drunk. I was surprised by his reaction, but I shook my head and said it was nothing like that. That is what separates the women from the girls. Can Humans Detect Text by AI Chatbot GPT? Guilt is a common feeling of emotional distress that signals us when our actions or inactions have caused or might cause harm to another personphysical, emotional, or otherwise. If it were me, I would contact her, & let her know that I didn't appreciate her actions. But please seperate the issues. Bringing this up is only going to hurt your SO. Despite their passion during the kiss. Ive told her Im sorry, I wont let it happen again and Im sorry for being dishonest. (SK, that award doesn't exist. 10 Things You Didn't Know About Guilt | Psychology Today I know I cheated for sure, and thats why I had to confess to my husband that I did it. You had too much to drink and you kissed someone who wasnt your boyfriend or your girlfriend. HIKARI, you can't take up an obsolete thread as your own, no matter any similarities, so if you want feedback and advice it's best to start a new one (and copy and paste that post into it as your opening post), okay? Houston, we have a problem. It's good that you're willing to forgive,most women would divorce. As far as crossed purposes,hmmmmmmmm not following you. An affair isn't a bad choice made when a married person decides to sleep with someone that they aren't married to. Please tell me I will stop feeling like this. I work in hospitality, so I can't change departments, but I can change my shift pattern. Biological ones. I think my husband could maybe forgive the kiss, but the doubt would be there, he would wonder if this could happen again, and he would be so hurt. I didnt blame the alcohol because I knew I had feelings for my piano teacher, and I didnt want to pretend the feelings didnt exist. I guess what really bothers me a lot is when kids get involved. Way to make someone who, already understands and feels terrible guilt for what they've done, feel chronically worse. Houston, despite we started out as just friends, we now have PROOF that we have utilised a mechanism for cultivating love and respect, enough to now remain together til death do us part. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. You came to your sences and stopped this from going any farther. We use cookies on our site to remember your preferences, monitor site traffic and offer personalised ads. In a way you are trading his peace of mind for yours, do you really think that you will accomplish anything by doing that? Go cold turkey. Perhaps this one is geared more toward the ladies, but I feel pretty confident in assuming that no matter the . I practise what I preach, me. What are you going to do, then? 8=) ) Which probably makes you wonder why I came here in the first place. If you feel like this about yourself then you may be worrying about what he will do while he's at university. You wanna tell your husband? I tried to flag down a taxi but it ignored me and I even hid behind a wall at a garage while he took a pee. Thank you. | I waited for the right time ?? And if you're not confessing - to the victim - you're dodging doing time. Here are the frightening ways to know that he gave another girl a kiss ; 1. Just trying to keep the pot stirred,the fire burning. Most people would never confess that's the reality. You're going through tests BY OTHERS to find out why you can't fall pregnant. Other than that, I've said everything that needs saying soyou lot carry on if you want, but I'm sat back, counting the money. Feeling guilt when dumping the guy : r/datingoverthirty I came home and we resolved it and ever since everything has been fine. I went that night to a bar and began to get very drunk. Except with other truth-seekers. He's a nice guy and we get on, but I don't know how I'm gonna face him talk about normal work things. If he is nervous at you looking at his messages and also refuses to tell you who she is, he is hiding quite alot. I'll inform the vicar, you cancel the cake, yeh? (Got me cracked) 24 You have been dating this guy for only two months and it's not serious yet. Guilt occurs primarily in interpersonal contexts and is considered a "pro-social" emotion because it helps you maintain good relations with others. in all the years we are together I have never ever done anything like this before, and I can say with confidence I will never allow myself to end up in any situation that could lead to anything even close to this again. For starters, your husband, even when supposedly immature, didn't kiss HER. And it's weird, but it's like I need the guy to tell me what I did was ok and I'm not a bad person. And I know himhad it made him feel the slightest bit threatened and worried, either he'd have said so there and then, or, if for some reason hadn't felt capable, would have shown in his behaviour at some point (I was watching for it regardless). I did say gateway to sex at first didn't I. 3. Confide in someone you trust. I'm not sure if you are trying to be helpful, or just entertaining yourself with your responses. Even though it took her a while to make that choice, she both never recognized her role and then made a series of bad choices after. So if your planting includes a blight (guilty secret), please don't moan if it affects the crop yield. Shocking Signs Your Husband Kissed Another Woman Youre not homosexual until youre actually attracted to dudes., MORE : Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, MORE : These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Doctor explains why some men faint or get nosebleeds when they get an erection, This is the number of sexual partners the average Brit has had, Mum in coven manifests orgasms and schedules sex magick with husband, Post-pill clarity: I came off contraception and didnt fancy my partner anymore, How I Do It: Its empowering to have a guy over and pleasure myself afterwards, follow-up video of straight girls kissing other girls for the first time, Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Do not sell or share my personal information. "then the cheeky ugger only went and bloody kissed me, didn't he! I think a real man actually kisses a dude at least once to really know your sexuality, one says. We finally mended fences, but there still is a type of tension between us. I'm 44 years old and I've been dating a 24 year old for 5 months. Should I tell him or just get on with my life and put this whole sorry mess behind me? find me on and follow me on. I didnt hear from my piano teacher for at least two weeks after that. I Was Raised By A 90 Years Old Ninja - Facebook But I do have to state it or I'm failing to do this role properly as well as my innate compulsion to be unwaveringly socially and morally responsible - meaning, if you don't want to respond, don't. What should I do. When I was in college, I cheated on a bf while I was drunk not because I was drunk, but because I was presented with the opportunity and I wanted wanted to do it. As for what we believe about kissing being the gateway to sex (specifically foreplay, which itself is the main gate): if anyone believes it *isn't*, thenwellAll I could say to that is: I see this as two issues. I just knew it. 14 Effective Ways To Get Over The Guilt Of Cheating - A Conscious Rethink My husband wasnt home at the time. I am the nicest person on earth and so is my boyfriend. I've never gone to a counsellor before, but I'm going to see one next week to talk through it. Carl Jung said that if you're dreaming of a stranger of the opposite sex, it usually means your psyche is tapping into your inner man or inner woman. Because I already had some unresolved feelings for this guy and I let him kiss me and used the fact that I was drunk as an excuse. With the other woman just across the room! You reap what you sow. Generally people dont care when it happens with others but when it happens with them, they may react very differently because human are emotional creatures. Houston, well, whaddayaknow - I'M PREGNANT!